Dave Barry rocks ! =)

Hehehe.....this book got me laughin n grinnin from ear to ear while readin every single page: Dave Barry - bad habits. So i tot i'll share an excerpt with u guys =P hope i dun get sued or sth =P

" BARBECUING IS THE PITS
What cud b more fun than an outdoor bbq? I can think of several things offhand, such as watching the secretary of state fall into a vat of untreated sewage. But dat wud prob cause us to go to war in Nicaragua or sumwhere, so I guess we'll have to settle for a bbq.
The bbq was invented more than 80 million yrs ago by Cro-Magnon Man, who was the son of Stephanie Cro and Eric MAgnon, a primitive but liberated couple. Cro-Magnon man used to eat dinosaur meat raw, and it tasted awful, worse than yogurt. One day, while Cro-Magnon Man was eating, lightning set a nearby log on fire. Cro-Magnon Man was so surprised dat he dropped his dinosaur meat onto d fire, where it ignited and gave off a disgusting odor dat drove off all d insects, which in those days were the size of mature eggplants and extremely vicious. "This is terrific," sed Cro-Magnon Man, only nobody understood him bcoz English hadn't been invented yet.
Burnin dinosaurs quickly became a major form of insect control. At large Cro-Magnon lawn parties, the hosts wud put whole brontausauruses on d fire, and they wud sizzle into d nite, keeping d insects away and givin off a stench dat lingers to this very day at d northern end of d New Jersey Turnpike.
Eventually, of coz, they used up all d dinosaurs, which led to d discovery dat if u put cows and pigs on ure fire, u cud not only drive away insects but in a pinch u cud also eat d cows and pigs.This led to d invention of hamburgers n hot dogs, which are cows n pigs dat have been ground up in Chicago n formed into lil portable units dat can be easily thrown on a fire. Today ppl rarely put entire cows on fires except in Texas, where lifting animals is a mojor cultural activity, second only to wearing hats.
To hold ure outdoor bbq, u'll need several dozen units of cow or pig n a portable grill, or hibachi. ("Hibachi" is a jap word meanin "extremely flimsy grills dat break at d slightest touch but Americans buy them anyway.") U'll also need fuel. At one time, ppl used wood,but then d Consumer Product Safety Commission discovered dat wood is flammable n banned it. So today u are required to use charcoal, a mineral dat forms in torn paper bags in supermarkets. The prob, of coz, is dat charcoal, being a mineral, does not burn. Neither does charcoal lighter fluid. Firemen routinely use charcoal lighter fluid to extinguish major refinery fires.So wat actually heats ure bbq food is matches, hundreds n hundreds of matches dat u heap onto ure charcoal until they form a blaze.
While ure waitin for ure matches to get goin, u shud prepare a tangy bbq sauce.
TANGY BBQ SAUCE RECIPE
1 cup broached onions, 2 liters vanilla abstract, 1/2 pound neat's-foot oil, 2
tablespoons butter or oregano, 1 fresh poltroon, diced.
To prepare: With floured hands, on a floured surface, standin on a floured floor, and juz generally surrounded by mounds n mounds of flour, combine d ingredients in a greased 5 5/8" by 16 3/8" pan, then pour d mixture carefully into an ungreased 4 3/8" by 18 7/8" pan and heat it until a 1 3/8" blister forms when u stick ure hand into it.
Now place ure meat units on d grill. They shud juz burst into flames immediately. Let them burn until they're cooked d way u like them:
-RARE (5-10 min): D outside is burnt n welded to d grill;d inside is pink and swirling with cow n pig disease germs.
-MEDIUM (5-10 min) : D outside n part of d inside are burnt;many of d disease germs, partucularly d elderly n pregnant ones, are dyin slow, painful deaths.
-WELL DONE(5-10 min): Both d outside n d inside are completely burnt; almost all d disease n germs are dead, n d few remainin ones are makin elaborate plans for revenge.
When ure meat is done, extinguish it with d bbq sauce or charcoal lighter, detach it from d grill with a spatula or sharp chisel, n serve it with sth dat ppl can eat, such as Fritos or turkey sandwiches. U shud eat quickly, bcoz d insects will monitor u from a safe distance n attack d instance d smoke clears. "
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Hehehe..btw, i forgot to mention, this is a 100% fact free book =) enjoy!!!! =D

haha...this week had 3 tests...bio, maths, and chem. bio and maths were..hell =P chem...got 77, but wasnt a really honest test also haha...a bit malu =P

this week marked a few firsts for me =P :

played foosball for the first time this week hahaha..it IS fun =) =P
drank honeydew sago dat d van was sellin for d first time!!! =) lovely stuff hehehehehe..yum =)

weather darn bad on wed, was so hazy...kena d flu bug that was goin around, but its nth serious, now adi recoverin from it.

A few people around me havent been having really good days...well, just stay strong...u'l make it through all the rough times =)

I miss ying!And quite strangely, kinda miss fook yit also haha. And Jess...Lynn..and a few others...aihh...miss d mornin gatherins in CHS =)

Primary skul reunion!!!

Hahaha...had a std 6 reunion today in one u..it was soo nice meetin my teacher and a few old frens again.. =)

We went to dat hong kong restaurant in one u, where i ordered their ice lemon green tea..and when it came, it was poured into those type of big transparent heavy glass jars where u get from purchasing horlicks or sth.And it was full of sugar.Sugar and lemon and green tea = sweet + sour + bitter...*shivers* the sight of the drink itself made me full adi hahaha..but it was worth the money lah i guess, such a big 'cup' for 5.50.

Was so nice meetin some frens again..like soo leng =) Since u goin Inti girl, im sure we'll be meetin each other quite often =) haha..i used to think that my teacher was sooooo tall..but today...shes actually shorter a bit than me liao!!! hahaha..i was soo short in std 6 man hahaha =)

Hey ying, come back soon man, now sales everywhere, d nicole shop in one u, half d shop 50%/70% off...juz imagine man..bliss =) hahahaha :)

Its a lovely day...and my modem is working after not functioning for a week! =) Nice awesome day hahaha =)God bless everyone in my life =)

must visit =P

hahahahaha...visit this site :
happytreefriends.com

hahahahaha =)

In memory of Pn. Tan

Pn Tan passed away today...:( but I noe dat she's now in Heaven, freed from all d sufferins she had to undergo in d last few months. May God bless a good soul like her, and may she rest in peace. Amen.

Friggin Stingy Taylors Scholarship.

I feel so cheated. When i first heard that i scored 11A1s for my spm and a B3 for chinese, i was elated.Ecstatic. I never expected gettin A1s for my bm and i knew i screwed up my bio. So i was soo happy.

I went to chs. And Pn. Lim announced the results. starting from 14As, then 13As, then 12As.by that time, me, with only 11as, felt rather out of place. Coz everyone around me was scoring straight As. I didnt. But it was so great, seeing everyone smiling all around =) Congrats for those who scored real well =) Hard work paid off in d end.

Then Lim yk went around, sayin those with 12As and above, all with straight As, go to tapak and take photo. Well. Im not qualified again. But wat kept me happy was the tot that i got 11A1s. I qualify for the Taylors full scholarship. 21k. 21k for uni.And that was wat i wanted. Wat i was aiming for. I dun want a car for my results. I want the full scholarship. So i was happy. went mv and watched a really lovely movie robots and d day was lovely.

Next morn.Go skul. Then natalie comes to skul and tells us that for 1119, the A1 is NOT included. So. No full scholarship. I chose not to believe her. But i cud feel my heart sink. I went to CAL office to get the form. They asked me my results before givin me d form. I sed 11A1s, 1b3. so they gave me d form. then d indian fellar, he asked me whether my 11A1s included 1119 or not.i went..er..yea... then he like damn hapy lidet..say oh...1119 is NOT included, its all stated in d terms and conditions, go home and read it. His words were like slashes across my heart. Across my hopes. Shit. I was friggin mad. For the whole day..the truth slowly sank in. I cudnt pay attn to the lessons. i was very mad. And disappointed. It was like. For the past 2 yrs, i worked realy darmn hard, and well, the results were good at d end, but it din qualify for anything. It wasnt recognized.

I tot of transferrin to help. where 10A1s, without 1119, qualifies me for d full scholarship. For the whole day, i was thinkin bout it. Today i went to d mv edu fair. Met a real nice lady from help. A levels admin lah. told her my situation..and she gave me her honest opinion. which is really nice of her seeing dat she works for help.=) so...to hell with taylors for conning ppl bout d darn scholarship lar...i'll stay in taylors. Coz of d cambridge A. coz of my chem and maths and bio teacher. Esp chem. i like my chem teacher.And my classmates. And jia Xin. and harold and co. So FINE LAR TAYLORS even tho ur so connin ppl bout their money and being so darn unfair to ppl like me. ppl who took the core subjects. Only core subjects. and will never get to qualify for d friggin scholarship coz i didnt take SAINS TERAS for art classes dammit. Heh.

So yea. Will stay in taylors. And for my spm results...i dun see it as a big deal. I'll go and try JPA. see whether its recognized.

Moment of Truth.

Happie bday Sing Ping!!! =) hope u had a GREAT day :)

spm results comin out tmr =( no point delaying it anymore...just face whatever results i'll get. I know ive put in my best, studied like hell and screwed up a few papers unfortunately...but heck...i want the Taylor's full scholarship. I. Want. It. And well, to think bout all the stress in the past two years...just to obtain an A1 in d end...in ONE exam..makes u think whether its juz worth it. And if u dun get the A1, the distinction, the letter and d number that distinguishes u as an TERBILANG student..as d gal who got 17A1s. My gawd. 17. thats insane. I salute her. And i am also considerin her a freak. By sleepin 4 hours everyday. If i do that i'll die. Haha...diff ppl, diff lifestyles.

goin to chs tmr at 9sth...bleh...i hope d results wont be bad =( coz i want d scholarship. Very badly. oh well..alll da best ppl..swt drmz.

Another weekend almost gone...hehe...malls havin sales again =) yay:P This weekend ive managed to read up a bit on chem, a bit on bio, and finished Nick Hornby's How To Be Good, a rather funny and thought-provoking novel =), and started on Michael Moore's Stupid White Men =) hehe. Realize that my reading pace has slowed down so much..used to be able to finish reading a book in one week durin normal skulin days..but now...it takes me like...very long to finish a book...=P Insane skulin hours =P afta comin home u juz feel like sleeping =)

Haha..tmr bio group presentation..and we still havent done anything yet =P tmr morn i'll have to rush to d photostatin shop and photostate d pics onto transparency =) oh...HAPPY BIRTHDAY Zhou Hau:) u must feel so honoured that im mentionin ure name and ure birthday on my blog..hehe :P

Mood now : happy and feelin wonderfully contented =) Very good mood =) hahaha..nth describes this warm and fuzzy feeling...gnite ppl :)

FINALLY fin darn LAN essay =)

Ahahaha..finally finished the darn LAN essay...skipped lunch for tuna puff and skipped LAN lesson in d process...but finally fin d darn essay!!! =) quite long too...complete with bibliography and appendix and content page and all =) Have to do a group presentation on semiconservative replication of DNA on monday, the theory, mechanism, and erm..role. Prob will cook up something during d weekend =)

Thanks again js 4 comin over..its good meeting u again...And ppl...confirmed liao SPM results coming out next thurs...*shudders...bah...hope i can get the scholarship offered by Taylors...gonna need like wat...11A1s..which is quite impossible, coz i screwed up my bio and sej and who noes wat else durin spm...

depressin...dun talk bout spm. Okies...sth juz happened n i no longer have any mood to blog. So i'll go do chem. Have a great weekend ppl.

Fire drill today!!! but sheesh...my class didnt get to go down to assemble..coz stopped by our maths teacher. The fire drill was actually for d old block ( d labs n all) but hell, everyone else went down anyway....except for a few classes who had to stay in class and continue STUDYIN..bah =P For the new block d fire drill tmr...but tmr I predict my class will b at d phy lab..so no fire drill for my class again =P So when there's actual fire one day, we'll all die =P

Finally caught up a bit in studies..but still lagging...still have to study summore. And I'm finally taking the BUS...which in fact i wanted to since Jan but my dad sed wanna send me so not my fault lah =P haha...takin d bus is anyway much more convenient..for everyone...so parents dun have to come so far to fetch me.

I feel that im in another 5S1, just that this one is WAY MORE EXTREME....with ppl stayin back afta skul everyday go library and study till 6 plus....every exam get 90 plus 90 plus for every subject...hahaha...i feel dumb in this class of mine =) On the bright side i guess it motivates me to study i guesss..so dat i dun fall too far behind, if im not already behind =P

MUST. BUCK. UP. =)