Sunday, January 30, 2005

Sighhh...

It's been 3 weeks since school started, and well, i guess i've sorta gotten used to the tiring college student life.Everyday, its get up, go skul, have lunch, lessons lessons lessons...go home, sleep. Thankfully I've been placed in one of the better classes, where the teachers teach well=) Except dat Mr. Lim dat teaches me LAN, of course........urgh....think bout LAN also wanna puke adi..summore test next week, n i still have no idea wat is he rambling about in classes. :) Joy.... My classmates are super fun, so far we've been getting along quite well...I've got to know Jia Xin better now, which i'm sure we'll be great frens by the end of the year. Still miss the old S1 though....sigh. At least we still have the morning gatherings under the tree in Taylor's everyday, dats when u still get a glimpse of ure old buddies......those morning gatherings sorta remind me of the morning gatherings in CHS, man..i really miss those days.:/

Ah well. I'm thankful dat at least Harold, Phang Kit, Tian Ping, Sing Ping, Li Hsien, Zhou Hau, etc are still in d same skul as i am.Still get to hear all d jokes:) Esp thankful 4 havin harold, pk, tp, kang, allan, and chris around. U guys have seriously helped in the past few weeks...:/...esp when now my life is sorta at a low point.Frankly, it's been a long time since i'm feelin so much hurt and bitterness....and all the confusion isnt helpin it one little bit. Wat's there to say?I fell, slowly and painstakingly picked up the pieces, receiving some really hard blows in the midst of it that made me contemplate again on who i really am, on my character, whether its driving ppl away, on my spiritual level, wonderin why the heck is it suddenly matterin so much, and now, i'm trying to just move on and forget about all this.Its hard. Especially when the memories keep flooding in, but deep down I noe dat one day i will get over all this. One day it'll all seem like a part of life dat I was glad that it all happened, however much hurt it caused in the end.Bah. Till then, i'll have to get over the bitterness i feel inside...sigh...now i can really feel the 'feelins' inside avril's songs, like my happy ending, nobody's home, and take me away.And yellowcard's only one.

They say that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before. I guess dats true. But the losing feeling really sucks. =)




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